Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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