i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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