so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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