no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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