we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
