You're my little dorito
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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