she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize