dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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