i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
