when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
