So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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