Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
