i just wanna soil my oats bro
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She announced her abortion via fbk
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
