reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We talked him into tasing himself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize