It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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