A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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