Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no, he came in my armpit
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize