Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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