i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
