ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
