she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
