How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
