Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
