i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
