Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize