I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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