Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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