We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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