If i come over, it means nothing
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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