Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
