Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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