yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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