just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
