Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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