People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
