OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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