i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
