me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
