It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
