We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
