You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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