I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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