i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
where am i from again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
