I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
