I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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