it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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