let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
