if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize