In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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