Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

I see lights

(512): View more from Texas

Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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(972): View more from Texas

Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?

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(318): View more from Louisiana

tonight lets celebrate not being married

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(925): View more from California

Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.

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(530): View more from California

We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."

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(812): View more from Indiana

You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.

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(801): View more from Utah

Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?

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