i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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