i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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