This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
