In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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