Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
