Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize