I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
