They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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