Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
