Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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