I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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