It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
