I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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