even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
