Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize