i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
