I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
