wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
