I hope mine doesn't look like that
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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