If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
