WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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