my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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