So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
